The Next Step – Realizations Post ACPA

When I left for #ACPA11 I can clearly say that I was (and still am) at a crossroads in my career as a student affairs professional. I’ve been slowing moving, over the past several years, in a direction that has led me to this point in my life. I went into ACPA with excitement of learning more and catching up with friends and hopefully gaining new experiences. However, what I walked away with was so much more than my expectations.  I had posted on Twitter that I had felt overwhelmed in a positive way, and that is completely true. I know many times the word “overwhelmed” can be associated with more negative types of stress, but not in this situation. I was overwhelmed pretty much by the AWESOMENESS of what I was experiencing, who I was meeting, and opportunities that were being offered to me.

It hit me at one point. And it may seem like an obvious thing to realize, but yet until you actually say it to yourself, it never seems quite real. Do you know what I mean? I hope that you do, but even if not, it was THIS that hit me half way through the conference:

I am a strong professional woman in Student Affairs.

And then I realized, I need to start acting like it. Not that I wasn’t acting like it before, but now with the self-realization happening within my brain, I needed to be more confident about ACTING on it. (And as I just typed that sentence I realized I used “be more”…I guess it solidifies that it was meant to happen at ACPA11). I needed to not be afraid of speaking up, because my thoughts are intelligent and worthwhile. I have the ability to impact. While there are people out there that I want to meet and connect with, I now recognize there are others out there who want to meet and connect with me. And I don’t mean that in a way that is egotistical, but in a way that indicates responsibility. I have become so much more aware of who I am and what I represent. So crazy that on the first night of the conference I had a conversation with Ed Cabellon about this exact concept. But here it is. The reality of who I am becoming.

And so as I realized this attitude, this new found “me”, I started to approach this conference in a totally different way. I started to say “YES” in the realization that I’m ready for the next step. In my job and in my involvement in ACPA and the field of Student Affairs overall. So I said yes to involvement and roles within the AOFYE Commission Directorate Board. I said yes to meetings with people that are influencing change and areas I want to be involved in – like Tom Krieglstein.  I’ve realized I have a responsibility to continue to educate and engage, not just share. My concept of the Twitter Backchannel has change. I tried to not just share the info, but engage my followers in discussion.

And through this realization and refocus on my own next step, I keep thinking about other people’s next steps. Chris Conzen told me that he noticed I was being more aware about both talking and listening. Not that I hadn’t done it before, but now I was aware. Does that mean I’m becoming a grown up? 🙂 I suppose that is what the next step is. I’m about to trade in some cardigans for some suit jackets. (But not all of my cardigans. Wouldn’t want Becca Obergefell to worry.)

So I’m heading into the next level. The next step. Part of it will definitely be a leap of faith, a risk, but with that, so many great possibilities are ahead of me.

Alternative Break Reflections

I thought about how I was going to organize this blog post, because there are truly so many feelings and emotions I’ve felt over the past few days. As I start to type this, I’m actually still in one of our B-W mini vans on the drive home. Sitting in the van with my lap top open is probably a strange sight to behold, but this group has really seen so much about one another over the past week that it really doesn’t matter what we do at this point.  We have laughed and shared our feelings and emotions on a consistent basis, partaking in an amazing journey together called “Alternative Spring Break.”

This is my third alternative break trip during my time at B-W, and each one has brought new joys and challenges.  This one however, brought several emotions to the forefront of my mind as we worked together to serve families at “Give Kids The World Village” in Kissimmee, Florida.

Some of my blog readers know me very well, while others are still in the process of getting to know me.  So let me start by first letting you all know that I am a crier. Seriously, I cry a lot.  Not like random outbursts in weird situations, but whenever I am utterly moved by something I will allow that emotion to take place and I’ll tear up. So I guess I should rephrase that in a sense because it’s not necessarily a sobbing cry.  But I’m digressing…back to the point. So here I am, a person who allows her emotions to be felt and seen, and I’m journeying through this experience with nine incredible students.  We had done our best to prepare ourselves for what we were about to experience but I don’t think that any of us were truly ready for how much we would receive through giving of ourselves.

If you don’t know much about the Village, I suggest you check it out.  A little back ground: Henri Landwirth, the founder of GKTW, was in the Nazi concentration camps with his sister. He was able to escape and came to the United States. He was drafted into the army where he got a college education in hotel management.  He was running a Holiday Inn and had met a young girl. She contacted him some time later saying that she was sick and really wanted to come to central Florida and Disney and asked if he could help.  He immediately set out to make this dream come true for this young girl, however she passed away about a week before she was set to arrive at his hotel.  He vowed never to let that happen again and worked with his staff to make sure wishes were granted for the children. When his hotel was being filled with more sick children and their families than paying guests, he decided they needed another place for these families and thus “Give Kids The World” Village was created.  The actual site opened in 1989 and they have served over 100,000 families since.

Me, Julie, Henri Landwirth (the Founder), & Emma

On our first day at GKTW, we were actually lucky to find out that Henri would be in the Village that day and we might have the opportunity to meet him. He’s 84 years old now and doesn’t travel to the Village that often (maybe twice a year) so we were going to be very fortunate that our experience overlapped with his visit. This place that he created is phenomenal.  It gives families of children with life threatening illnesses the opportunity to get a week long vacation all expenses paid.  They stay in the village where there are so many incredible things to do and see, and all their meals are paid for.  Want ice cream for breakfast? You got it.  They also get tickets to pretty much anything they could ever imagine, including Disney World, Universal Studios, and Sea World.  Plus they wear a special button that staff members from all theme parks are trained to look for which gets them a spot right at the front of the line for any ride they choose to go on. What could be better? It’s a place they can go to where they are able to forget the fact that they are dealing with a sick child and that child can just enjoy life. You never ask the questions about why the child is there. It’s only about having fun at GKTW.

Well, watching these kids day after day, as well as their families, this is one thing that just makes their lives so much easier. Beyond meeting the staff at GKTW – who are seriously some of the NICEST people on the planet – we got time to interact with the many families staying in the Village while we were there.  Approximately 130 families were staying in the village while we were on our trip. As we went through the week, you got to know some of the families on a deeper level.  One of the best ways I got to do that was by working in the Gingerbread House.

The Gingerbread House = Best. Place. Ever.

So, I worked as a server in a restaurant for nearly 6 years. I would never dream of going back because it was stressful and annoying and it was difficult to have fun.  Yet, the Gingerbread House – which is their main eating location – has a rule: Fun is always first. I spent 3 of my 5 nights at the Village working in the “GBH”, and I would do it every night of my life if I were able to do so. I bussed tables, carried food, and more and it was one of the most incredible experiences of my life. It was in these moments that I had some of my most memorable moments and truly understood the power of GKTW.  I met one little boy named Zachary who cracked me up. His favorite superhero is Spiderman. He was a ball of energy. And every time he’d skip on over to me with his empty glass and ask for “water, no ice.” I’d of course fill up the glass and then ask him each time “Am I carrying this back or are you?” And he would smile and tell me “You!” And skip back to his table. Aiden & pretty much his entire family from Chicago – this family was fantastic. I actually interacted with his dad first when he asked if he could get some food to go because he didn’t really get a chance to eat while trying to manage the meal with his 4 kids. I made it happen with help from Dave the chef and this dad was so happy. This spurred a conversation about who I was and why I was there.  His wife said “She’s an angel in training” (Volunteers are called “angels”) and he looked at me and said ‘Nah, she’s an angel no longer in training” – Made. My. Night.  So I saw this family on the other nights as well, chatting it up. They had 4 great kids, one in particular who cracked me up was Aiden.  I have no idea who was the “wish” child in this family, and you never ask those questions. But Aiden wanted to throw the football around and show me how he got a touchdown. Not sure where else you can be working in a restaurant and pause to go outside to throw around a football with a 4 year old kid. He would run past me and jump up on the base of a pillar outside the GBH and show me his touchdown celebration.  I watched a little girl who couldn’t be more than 3 years old, unable to speak due to a tube in her throat. Yet she signed her little heart out as she communicated with her mom. Inspired me to start taking sign language lessons pronto. I got to use what little French I still remember from high school and speak to another little girl who didn’t speak English. Every shift I worked in that place brought about smiles and laughter from so many people. Even when I worked as a greeter at the door and simply opened and closed the doors for families coming in. One night my student, Drew, and I staffed that station and we high-fived the kids and smiled our biggest smiles (which wasn’t difficult to do). One family left the GBH that night and we overheard them say “You don’t even get that kind of service at a 5-star restaurant.” – Those are the moments you know you are helping create something great.

Throughout the week we had multiple different projects. Besides working in the GBH, we painted rocking chairs and one of the villas. We stuffed handmade pillows for the children (each child gets one). We took pictures of the families with Barney. Each moment resulted in a smile from a child and their family. I even saw one girl smile for the first time all week when she met Barney and it was one of the best moments of the trip for me.

Another favorite moment was watching children make their star. Each child gets to put a star in the Castle of Miracles.  And there are stars in EVERY nook and cranny of the castle. So much so that they are in the process of building a star tower to hold more stars. The child comes and puts their name on the star, then puts it in a box, and they have this whole show (thank you technology) to show the fairy fly into the box and grab their star and shoot back up to the ceiling. The child will get a note the next day letting them know where their star is located.

Just some of the many star in the Castle of Miracles

Speaking of things the children get – they get a present each day. They are delivered to their villas (believe me I totally want to go back and help do THAT job). All children get a special copy of Candyland made for GKTW. And I totally bought it and would be happy to bring it anywhere to show people. It’s incredible. They can come to the Castle and also get a handmade pillow. We plan on making pillow cases and sending them to the Village for future use. They go through nearly 500 pillows a week because not only does the wish child get a pillow but so do any other kids in their family who are with them.  And each Thursday is Christmas. They have a parade, snow, and Santa gives out presents. One particular story the Chef told us was that Santa had a kid on his lap, and the child asked why hadn’t he been to his house at Christmas. Apparently the family just didn’t have money for presents. And Santa (another amazing volunteer who comes EVERY WEEK) says, without skipping a beat “Well I knew you’d be here, so why would I waste time making an extra trip?” This is the magic of Give Kids The World.

I’ve already made this one of the longest blog posts EVER, but I guess in a few closing thoughts all I can do is continue to say what an incredible experience this whole trip was. The emotional connections I felt to the kids, their families, and even some of the staff members was unbelievable. This place is completely dependent on volunteers, more than you might think.  The group of students I traveled with was incredible. They were so positive and focused on the task at hand, even if they noticed other people around them that were not so focused. They continuously laughed, smiled, and worked as a team from the beginning of the day until the end. They connected to these children and found themselves (as did I) humbled and enlightened and finding a new appreciation for the little things in life. All of us, if given the opportunity would go back in a heartbeat and we’ve already started coming up with plans for fundraising and supporting GKTW from home.  We’ll be hosting an “Ice Cream for Breakfast” Social, making pillow cases, and going to Perkins – because they donate over 2.5 million dollars worth of food every year.  Reflecting back, I definitely came to know 9 outstanding students. They made me laugh every day and inspired me as a Student Affairs professional, reminding me why I not only chose this as my career, but also why I continue to get involved in service like this. I sat here tonight reading through “warm fuzzies” – letters from my students – that I had read once already but loved reading again. Knowing that I also made a difference for them means so much.

If you want to check out other photos from our trip you can do so HERE.

Thanks for reading my reflections, and if you are ever able to coordinate a service trip I suggest you look into Give Kids The World. They ALWAYS need the help and it will change your life forever. I know because it totally changed mine.

My amazing crew with some Christmas decorations 🙂

Living My Word

Over the past few weeks I’ve been thinking a lot about my “One Word Resolution” and if I’ve been living it in the way I had hoped. I didn’t want it to be just some other resolution that I eventually go through life forgetting about. My word: Wonder, had 2 major interpretations on how I thought I would live that out. The first being a generally curiosity about life and learning and other such things. The second was an idea of focusing on the joy and awe of my life and those in it.

I started to think that perhaps my wonder-like curiosity should be focused at taking chances as well. Looking at opportunities for my life lately have been a struggle and the cause of some anxieties when I start to think about it. I had a strong desire to start applying to new jobs, particularly an amazing sounding one that came through the Twitterverse a few weeks ago. I still haven’t applied and I struggle to think about why because I think I’ve come to a point where the two meanings of my words have collided and I’m left to figure out what all of that really means in the grand scheme of things.

As I started to contemplate what life would be like if I found a new job and moved on from where I am, all of these amazing things started happening right here. Day to day interactions in which joy found its way into my heart more regularly than I suppose it had in the past. I started to find new meaning in some of the things I was doing with my life, with my career. I’m advising a fraternity and lately many of them have continued to ask me if I am proud of the good things that they have done. Of course I am, but seeing their faces when they ask such a question makes me believe that I am working with them for the right reason. When I watch a group of students push themselves beyond what they could have hoped for in our Dance Marathon- raising money to save the lives of children with HIV/AIDS. It brought tears to my eyes to see their success and their own joy.  I had a student recently tell me he is gay and shared with me how he knew I would be the right person to tell. He even said when he told a few other students that he had told me, they said I would of course be the one they could ask for any kind of advice. In a few months I get the opportunity to do service in South Africa for three weeks. And I think to myself, “I want to leave all of this?”

So I guess, my word has caused me to focus on these things and in turn has caused a bit of conflict. I honestly have no clue what I want to do or where I want to be. At 32 I really thought I would have these kinds of things figured out. But I don’t. Not one bit. But I’m trying. I’ve come to realize that life has never quite worked out the way I’ve planned but it has surprised me in many amazing ways. But I’m still stuck trying to figure out my next move and which direction I should move towards.

“It starts with us.”

Tonight I had the opportunity to hear Cory Booker (the Mayor of Newark, NJ if you didn’t know) speak at B-W. As a recent follower of Mayor Booker on Twitter, I was really looking forward to hearing what he had to share with our campus community.  I arrived with some of the grad assistants in my office as well as a few students. We were told to arrive early, so we arrived shortly after 7pm (for an 8pm start time).

Right before Cory spoke, I got a DM from him saying that he was glad we were there and he’d be on stage soon. I was pumped. I know some of my Twitter followers may have wanted some “real time tweets”, and I had intended to do so, except the engagement during that time was too great to tweet about in the moment.

Cory’s keynote address was titled “Change the World with your Bare Hands.” And indeed I felt changed at the end. I felt inspired and motivated beyond what I could have possibly anticipated. There was even a moment during his concluding story, that I felt myself begin to tear up. Hearing stories of people committed – ACTIVELY committed – to change is a moving and powerful thing. It was part of multiple programs B-W was hosting in honor of our MLK week.

I tried to jot down a few things as I listened. I had my little notebook in my lap and wanted to be able to sit and reflect upon those sporadic notes scribbled on the paper. So in looking at them, here are a few of the main things I walked away with this evening.

1. Cory initially spoke of his upbringing and the ideas his parents really tried to instill in him and his brother. He expressed the importance of knowing your history and knowing where you come from. He stated that he learned “we drink deeply from the wells of liberty and freedom that we did not dig.” That one statement made me think more about history than I ever had in my life. It gave me a new sense of appreciation for those who have come before me.

2. He spoke a lot about change (obviously by the title of the keynote), but it was about how we affect change. As in the quoted text I used for the title of this post, Cory said “It doesn’t start with someone else. It starts with us.”

3. He spoke about drama and how we create our own drama. Our outlook on the world is really the thing we need to look at. Cory said “The world you see outside of you is the world you see inside of you.” How many times are we so caught up in our own problems and drama internally that we put that in our external world as well. If we are negative on the inside we will see more negative on the outside. We should instead look at the world with hope.

4. I think my favorite quote from Cory tonight was “We are here because of the abnormal people who loved.” And I find that to be so incredibly true. We are here because there were people out there making change. The change makers of the world are the ones that some people may call crazy. They are looked at as weird or nonsensical. They are the “abnormal” people of the world. But they take the risks. They commit to change. And they do that with love and hope. So why can’t we?

Tonight was, for me, a reconnect with ideas of hope and love. A recommitment to making change happen. A commitment to my community. As an educator, I have the ability to change the lives of the students around me.  Student Affairs is a world filled with abnormal people who love. So consider that as you are doing your daily tasks. Of course there are things that are frustrating, but how do we approach those frustrations. Don’t internalize the negative only to have that become externalized. Instead strive to look at each task with love and purpose. See it as creating more hope for the future. As Cory emphasized – Do Something. And do it with love.

Interview Tip – Music

I’ve noticed a lot of blog posts popping up offering advice on interviews. It’s all been really good advice, and I know for people that are interview now, soon, or in the future, we always seek out advice from people who have been there before.  But as I was sitting in my office this afternoon, I began to reflect. Actually I’ve been in a reflective mood for the past 2-3 days, so there could be a lot of blog posts brewing in my mind, and this – this is the first of those thoughtlings.

I don’t want to repeat what has been said. Not really a point in doing that. I would instead like to look at interviewing from perhaps a viewpoint that normally isn’t blogged about. And for me, that is music.  Music? Yes. Music.

From an early age, I was immersed in music. My parents were both musically inclined. There was always music playing in our house. I sometimes think I’m a bit of an old soul when it comes to music. I attribute that to the fact that when I was in middle school I would sit in our basement listen to my parents’ vinyl records, which include The Beatles, James Taylor, Carole King, The Turtles, The Mamas & The Papas, and more. I tend to place music in almost every part of my life. I even made my “life soundtrack” with a friend a few years back. (But that’s another story).  Nevertheless, I think that of course, when it comes to music, it can be an essential part of the interview process. It can relax you. Pump you up. Whatever it is that you might need.

So I decided to provide for you, my blog readers, my current Top 10 “Pump Me Up Before An Interview” song list. As with any list, it’s an ever-evolving piece, so I’m declaring it is subject to change.  Wouldn’t want to be tied down to this forever! But some are classics and are bound to stay. But for now, you get these 10 musical gems.

1. Little Lion Man – Mumford & Sons
2. Dog Days are Over – Florence and the Machine
3. Strip Me – Natasha Bedingfield
4. Ain’t No Mountain High Enough – Marvin Gaye & Tammi Terrell
5. What Is Life – George Harrison
6. Raise Your Glass – Pink
7. She Sells Sanctuary – The Cult
8. Africa – ToTo
9. Grace Kelly – Mika
10. Right Back Where We Started From – Maxine Nightingale

Bonus – Free Bird – Lynyrd Skynyrd – because there is always room for Free Bird.

What are your top 10 Pump you up before an Interview Songs? I’d love to hear.

I played Peanuts.

So, I probably could have worked this afternoon.  I mean, I probably should have. But instead I chose to play a card game called “Peanuts”. Granted we did have an orientation session today so that was a busy morning/afternoon, but then I started to play cards with my orientation student directors and my supervisor.  We played for over 3 hours.  In my mind I did keep thinking about my to do list waiting for me. How many things I have coming up and need to get together.  But somehow spending time with them laughing and sharing took priority. I spent the majority of this work week running around and tackling projects and running training sessions. So today – a Friday – I took some time “off”. Plus then my boss totally bought us all Chipotle. 🙂

It was the last time I’d be working with Abby & Kelsey, my orientation student directors from this past summer. I am glad I still have one last semester with them as students, but I will definitely miss working with them.

One Word Resolutions – “Wonder”

Over the past few days the idea of the “One Word Resolution” has been popping up amongst the #SAchat community. So in reflecting, I decided upon the word  – WONDER. And I chose to look at it from two viewpoints.  The first being the idea of marvel & awe, and the second being curiosity. Simply put, I want to remind myself of two very important things.

One – I have to remember to look at the world around me more often. I think that sometimes I have the tendency to get caught up in my own little world and focus on how my own life is going.  Yet, there are so many things going on around me – things to marvel at – that I sometimes miss along the way.  Mostly seen in how much time I spend at work.  I can’t say that I am the most balanced person.  But 2011 needs to be the time in which I start to take those times to seek out the marvelous things beyond my job.  While it will still be perfectly acceptable to seek joy in my work – which I do find quite consistently – it’s important to look for that joy beyond the walls of Student Affairs.  Reminding myself why I love to take photos – which has become somewhat lost in my attempt to turn it into a career. I told myself I would do it only if it remained fun and exciting.  It’s lost some of it’s lackluster so I plan to make it fun again. Surrounding myself with marvelous people is important. I have three women in my life that know every bit of who I am, yet spending time with them falls to the wayside.  I’m already working to make sure that I make more time for them.  To recognize and be in awe of their amazing ability to always be my friend. Especially this year as I will watch one of them get married and the other work on having a baby. The same is true with my family. To continue to remind myself to be in awe of and marvel in the love they have for me on a consistent basis.

The number two part of this is the curiosity part. I plan on continue to push myself to learn. To read more than I normally do. To ask more questions. To listen when others are talking.  To connect and network and expand my circle of colleagues.  All of which will lead to both personal and professional growth. I have to look beyond myself and work at continuing to understand others.  I’m involving myself in experiences that will expand my comfort zones. I want to live a “boxless” life and have a deeper understanding of the world around me. So whether that is through cultures, academia, faith, or just simple human nature – I want to be curious and immerse myself in it.

I love hearing all of the other words that people are focusing on this year.  I hope that we can continue to support each other and talk about our words in the upcoming days, weeks, months – well, for the rest of 2011.  Because then we get to pick a new word for 2012. 🙂

2010 Reflections & 2011 Goals

As I sit here on New Year’s Eve, I, like many others, have been reflecting on the past year and looking ahead to the next one. The year has brought many personal and professional challenges and blessings. So here are my reflections (in written word & pictures) on the year that was 2010.

1. I started to use Twitter as more than as way to let the world know what I was doing. When I first started on Twitter, it was just another type of Facebook for me. I’d update my “status” or feelings throughout the day.  But then I fell upon the #SAchat community and discovered what an amazing tool I had in front of me.  I’ve connected and developed and grown in ways I never would have without it. I have made some incredible friends. I have helped to educate others.  And simply, it’s just been a lot of fun. I look forward to seeing what 2011 will bring in me in the Twitterverse.

2. I came out of, what I like to call, “The Bald Girl Closet”. 2011 is going to mark nearly 5 years of living with a medical condition that caused me to lose most of my hair. Most, but not all, but without a wig or scarf on my head, it’s a really bad combover look that I only sport at home in front of my cat.

3. I went to Mississippi with an amazing group of students to help with Hurricane Relief. It was one of the most eye-opening experiences of my life. There is still so much there that needs to be done and it was heart breaking to hear and read their stories.

4. I once again had an AMAZING summer with our Orientation Program at B-W and got to work with one of the most outstanding grad students – Brian LeDuc (well, he was a “future” grad student at the time). I had countless laughs and some outstanding adventures around Cleveland.

5. I was published in the Cronk News. Some people know which article, but I don’t want everyone to know my alter ego. 😉

6. One of my closest friends was ordained to the priesthood. Whether or not you are Catholic or religious in any sense, there is just something completely amazing about watching a Catholic priesthood ordination ceremony. I’ve been able to witness it 4 times now. My friend Patrick being the most recent. The photos below were taken afterwards in the barber shop he helped create in the Seminary. We felt it only right that he bless it now that he was official.

7. I taught at the college level for the first time. It was a new and challenging experience. I look forward to Fall 2011 when I can actual do it better that time around.

8. I watched the first of my siblings get married. I come from a blended family (well, we’ve been blended for the past 11 years now) and my (step)sister Megan got married. One of my favorite memories from that night was dancing with my dad (with my siblings too) to Paul Simon’s “You Can Call Me Al” which was a favorite of my dad’s.

As I look ahead to 2011, I always think of a lot of goals and resolutions I should have in mind.  Sometimes more than are actually accomplishable. But looking ahead, here are the ones I’m really going to work on:

1. Reading more. I accumulate books, but don’t make the time to read them. I’m hoping to read a book each month.

2. Blog more. I need to write more than I have been.  Be more reflective. I also want to get my own domain set up. I’ll be looking for help with that one – just an FYI.

3. Go on more “Photo Adventures” with my friends. Remind myself why I love being on the other side of the lens.

4. Get healthy. With an official diagnosis I’m working on getting myself back into a more fit, healthy version of myself. And while I know this is one goal many people often pick in the new year, I know that I HAVE to commit to this one in order to just get better.

So those are my reflections and goals. Nothing too earth shattering, but simply a look back at what I have accomplished in the course of a year. Stay tuned for more reflections in 2011.

Identity, Labels, & Brands

I’ve been thinking a lot about all three of these topics for a few weeks now. Mulling over in my head what I thought could be a good, reflective blog post, but yet I couldn’t quite figure out how I wanted to put it out there into actual words and text for others to read. I think I just needed to flush things out and ponder more so what it is I was really thinking for the most part. Oddly enough, the more I thought about it, the more I encountered people and moments that would spur further thoughts and reflections.  It was really just an endless cycle, which is good, because it means that it is relevant and important to continue to think about as an educator and really just as a person.

I guess I really started thinking about this a few weeks ago when I was in my office, sitting at our conference table, eating lunch with one of my students. It was an impromptu lunch, and we were simply chatting when another student came up the stairs, came over to us, and asked the student I was with “Do you think I’m ‘ghetto’?” It was said so loudly and bluntly that I caught both of us off guard. She explained that someone had called her ‘ghetto’ and she wanted this other student’s opinion. So I opened my mouth and asked “Well, can you please define ‘ghetto’ for me?”  She didn’t really have a response. Then as she continue to probe the other student with her question, I said to her, “Why do you have to stick a label on yourself?” She responded that others had labeled her. I told her to just be HER. Why bother with how others label you? She looked at me as if I was a bit odd, and continued on.  I sat there, thinking. Why is she letting others frustrate her with this label when she is adamant about NOT being labeled? And it is that way every day, watching students worry about how others perceive them. And sure, we’ve all been there, but how are we, as Student Affairs professionals stopping to educate and develop? (Note: I don’t plan on getting into Identity theories with this one – too many to possibly talk about haha)

But this is just one part of where my brain has been functioning as of late. Identity. And heck, I’m not a pro at this what-so-ever. I think sometimes I am still flowing through some form of identity develop even has my 20’s have already passed me by. And that is just because of circumstance and situations I’ve encountered. Who I was at 25 is not who I am at…32. And that’s ok. I need to continue and evolve in my own identity.  For me, I don’t think that it necessarily means that I don’t know who I am, I’m just continually open to change as I continue to educate myself and accept the cards I’m dealt. At 25 I was starting my career in Student Affairs. I had no idea it would lead me to where I am now.

My other thought has been about acceptance of identities. As I sit and hear stories of bullying, inequality, and people’s inability to be inclusive I  struggle with understanding WHY it happens. Part of me feels that some people are afraid of it. They are afraid to point it out and educate. Even some people I work with – I know this topic would make them uncomfortable. People are afraid to speak their minds for fear of being labeled or “Identified” as what? As someone who supports the rights of everyone? Perhaps. I was afraid of that for a while. I was born and raised Catholic and while my faith is still important to me, I struggle with the idea that my some of my best friends aren’t given the same equality under various churches because they are gay. And it took me a long time before I could openly speak to that in a open forum (ie. Facebook, Twitter).  When I did, I had judgment placed on me. It hurt. But wanting equality for the people I love was more important than that judgment.

I’ve laughed at the amount of songs lately that have resonated with me, and because their message is one of being proud of who you are and what you think. I connect a lot in that way.  And I think because of my quirkiness and whatnot, I tend to find myself surrounded by students who are the same way. Like the Island of Misfit Toys or something. But in my office we dance. Lately our tune of choice has been “Raise Your Glass” by Pink. Lyrics like “Raise your glass if you are wrong in all the right ways” or “If you’re too school for cool” make me smile. It’s an anthem to the kids out there who think there is something wrong with them because they don’t “Fit” – fit WHAT? is my question. I had a colleague who used the term “boxless world” – and that struck me. I now hate when people say “Let’s think outside the box” because really, why do we have to have a box in the first place? It’s just another label. So kick the boxes to the curb.

And then there is “Brand” – what is your brand? In social media we talk a lot about how we brand ourselves.  When Julie P-Kirchmeier brought it up the other day in her tweet – it all seemed to fit with what I was thinking. We do have to manage our social media brand. It’s been amazing to see how some people handle their Twitter accounts. While I know that not ALL of my tweets are based around Student Affairs, I’m aware of what I am branding myself with when I tweet. I know I am surrounded by people that I collaborate with and could maybe even work with or for some day. I’m ok with them knowing I’m a Star Wars nerd or addicted to blueberry flavored coffee. But I see people that seem “untouchable” on twitter, but we know they are in the field or want to be in this field  yet they don’t brand themselves that way. Yes, a Brand is your identity, but don’t let it be a negative label.

Yes I know this is a bunch of thoughts all in one post, but it’s been on my mind and I have felt the need to blog about it for quite some time now, so here it is. I’m pretty sure I have more thoughts on the subject, but I’m pausing now for reflecting on some other things, as well as getting a snack. 🙂

The NODA Internship

I recently returned from NODAC in St. Louis and had another wonderful conference. This year I presented in sessions which was a great experience, and I was also a part of a panel regarding NODA Internships. As someone who has hosted NODA Interns for the past four years, I was happy to support Melanie Payne (she coordinates the internship process) and share my experiences and thoughts. Since then, I’ve seen several people on Twitter discussing their NODA Intern applications or pondering whether or not they should apply. People were looking for advice and as I sat down to send people an email with tips/thoughts/etc, I decided why not share it via my blog instead. It would share the information I want to share and also get my back into blogging (since I’ve been neglecting my blog).

So, tips about the NODA Internship, from start to finish:

1. Your application – be as detailed as possible. Fill out every part of the application! Sometimes I get applications from people that don’t share what they want to learn or their experience.  If you are a school that gets a lot of applications, this is your chance to make yourself stand out among other applicants.  This goes along with your resume & cover letter.  Although, don’t go overboard with your cover letter (1 page is JUST fine) but I want to know why you WANT my internship.  You can’t always be totally specific per school, but you can take this time to explain to me (or other host schools) why you want a NODA Internship. This is especially important if you don’t have a lot of experience with Orientation programs at this point.  If I can’t come to some sort of understanding as to WHY you want an experience with Orientation, then chances are, you probably won’t get an interview from me – especially if 20 other people can explain it clearly.

2. RESEARCH – You’ll get the chance to select the schools with whom you want an internship. Don’t just click a bunch of schools. Do your research.  Do you want a small school? Large school? Specific location? 2-year college? Some place that has summer orientation programs or some place that just does a welcome week? What do you want? Check out the schools BEYOND their description on the NODA Internship site.

3. The Interview – First of all – not every school is going to contact you for an interview and not every school goes at the same place.  So don’t get discouraged if you hear people are getting calls and you are not. At my institution we try to set up interviews right away knowing we still have to follow NODA timelines. We just try to get it done before we get knee deep in OL interviews.  Other schools might time it differently.  Secondly – continue to research the schools you have interviews with!  Most likely you’ll be doing phone interviews.  Be prepared. Dress up – it will help you feel more prepared even if we can’t see you on the other end of the phone.  And PLEASE – have questions! I know I’m not going to be able to tell you everything there is to know about the position, so there have to be some questions you’ll have.  Remember names of people you talk to on the phone (Send them thank yous!). I always include my Student Directors on the interviews so be prepared for that as well.  Students can be harsh critics.  🙂 If you encounter students, be sure to ask about their experiences.  Get their point of view during the interview.  Be yourself but don’t slack too much.  But I will say many of us working in Orientation have a good sense of humor and we may ask random questions.  So don’t be afraid to mention that you’re obsessed with Wii Bowling or a reality TV junkie.  We won’t judge.  At least not too much. 😉

4. Post-Interview – Be patient.  We have to follow the NODA timeline so we’ll do our best.

5. The Offer – if you get an offer from a school, don’t feel like you have to say YES right on the spot.  It is perfectly acceptable to take some time (generally 24-48 hours – although then HOSTS get impatient!).  But seriously, take some time, especially if you had multiple interviews, you may have multiple offers.  Make your decision based on what you think is best for you.  We will not hold it against you if you turn us down.  We understand that this process is an opportunity for you to learn.  If another institution is going to give you an experience that you think will help you more so than another school, then by all means – take that position.

6. Post-Acceptance – Once you’ve accepted your position, this is a key time to continue to get to know the people you’ll be working with all summer.  Communicated via email, phone calls, social media (Twitter, Facebook, etc).  It will help your transition into your internship position.  Make an effort to also get to know the Orientation Leaders you’ll be working with all summer.  Connect with them on Facebook or in other means that might be possible.  If you’re not sure how to do this, talk with your internship supervisor(s) and find out what you can do.  You’re only at the institution for a short period of time so anything you can do to get somewhat acclimated to the staff is great.

7. During the internship – beyond whatever assigned duties you may have during your internship, learn as much as possible.  Ask questions. Talk to other people at the institution. Become a mentor to the Orientation Leaders but also allow yourself to learn from them – they are the “resident experts” after all. If you’re doing your job, see if there is anything else you can do to enhance your experience (if time allows). Reflect.  Reflection is a key part of learning.  So find a way that works for you and reflect.  Develop a relationship with your supervisor – share your thoughts, experiences, questions, challenges, etc.  They are there to help you become a better professional in the field.  Take advantage of their knowledge and experience.

Those are the basics.  Each school is going to be different. Find the place that is best for you and dive right in.  You’ll end up having a great experience.

And if you want more info or help in the process – feel free to contact me on Twitter – @Kathy_Petras.